Living in the time of social media, showcasing every aspect of your life has become commonplace.
For some, it is a podium to display what might be considered unattainable. For others the gradual elevation in social status. From cars to houses and even gaining influencer status can be a simple reason to show off your accomplishments.
While it may seem like some do it only when they accomplish something worth sharing, it can soon become a noticeable pattern in behavior. Having multiple modes of displaying one’s life has made it easier to show off.
Constant showing off can eventually lead to a black hole, both within relationships and consistently draining finances to keep up the pretenses. Personality changes can also be noticeable, as it soon takes over several aspects of one’s life.
What Type of People Are Likely To Show Off?
For one, some often feel they are entitled to everything good in their lives. Narcissists frequently are among those who have inflated self-esteem and might reach out for praise and admiration. In their search for compliments, they are capable of exaggerating their accomplishments to win praise.
One such area of showing off among narcissists was studied in showcasing romantic relationships. It was observed that romantic partners who were considered socially attractive were frequently shown off both as a means of rivalry and to garner admiration.
Showing off can also have a vengeful motivation. It could either be for relationships or even among co-workers to show how they are moving ahead. Social psychologist Ian McKee highlights for the American Psychological Association, “people who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status.”
What Are the Pros and Cons of Showing Off?
Those struggling with low self-esteem also show off to uplift their spirits. It can frequently be to fit into a crowd. On a similar spectrum are those who have the fear of missing out, or FOMO as commonly referred to. Dr. Erin Vogel Ph.D, a social psychologist, highlights that the fear of missing out always existed. He says that FOMO can be linked to increasing self-esteem, which allows us to fit into a crowd. To be able to do so, showing off the latest life upgrades, or events can be a key aspect of doing so.
Showing off, in the long run, can cost you a lot.
For starters, keeping up with a social status can cost a lot of money. Doing so can make one take out loans or run into debt. So while to the world it can appear that you are living the high life, your bank balance could be showing a different reality.
Showing off can also affect your relationships. Family members might be the first ones to find certain behaviors upsetting, especially if you are living with them. Dipping into shared finances for maintaining social status, can lead to frequent disagreements within a household. Spending time to procure social status, and displaying it among peers or through social media takes up valuable time. Investing time into showing off can also affect relationships. Studies have shown excessive use of technology among couples for such purposes can result in less satisfaction and connection over time, resulting in higher levels of depression and anxiety.
Showing off can also break up friendships and also create rifts among employees.
The only benefit which can seemingly appear from showing off is the effort taken to maintain a higher standing among peers. Sometimes this can lead to productive behavioral patterns, such as leading a healthier lifestyle through nutrition and exercise for a certain type of body or working more to achieve promotions.
However, this can often be short-lived. With the desire to frequently show off a lot around you might fall apart, many times to a point of no return.
How Can I Change My Mindset and Promote Self Growth?
Showing off can be motivated in different ways. So to be able to limit such behavior, understanding why you need to do so is the first step. It is after you recognize the reason, only then you will be able to find solutions for tackling this mindset.
1. Find Out Your Reason
As stated above, try to uncloak your reason or need to show off. Sometimes our childhood inefficiencies, or probably never being part of an “in-crowd,” could be underlying reasons to show off. Try to find out where your urge comes in. Try to discuss this with a friend, partner, or even a therapist. Documenting this behavior can help give insight into your triggers, to be able to manage the urges.
2. Be Kind To Yourself
When you consistently show off, you will slowly notice people around you dismissing you and your achievements. You might also begin to view yourself in a negative light for the damage such behavior may have caused. However, we all have our faults and sometimes the motivation which drives us is unknown to others. If you accept what you struggle with, understand that moving on from it can take time. You will need to first show kindness to yourself. It is okay to fail every once in a while, but the motivation to change should be continuous.
3. Replace The Need With Productive Routines
Once you understand your triggers, you will slowly notice the moments you are likely to show off. When you feel like talking about some accomplishment or upsizing in front of peers, turn the conversation onto the speaker or ask some constructive questions. Take a two-second break before you speak, especially if it is coupled with an urge to show off. Similarly with social media. Put off posting for about a day or two, and evaluate the motivation behind the post. Instead, you can opt for technology-free days, and invest in yourself and your relationships.
4. Mend What Was Lost A Consequence
While it may seem there is no way to replace what is lost, once you recognize your show-off mindset, you will recognize this isn’t always the case. Once you approach with a mindset of change, it can be noticed by the people who are close to you. Forgiveness is easier to give to those who show that they want to turn their life around.
It will not be easy to undo actions that have taken time to build up. Often you fall off the path or go back to your old habits. Showing off is an internal urge to take care of a feeling or to put yourself on a pedestal if no one else will. It can take a while, and even some losses to recognize that it is something you do. However, it is not a point from which there is no return. Such behavior is evident everywhere now, and social media doesn’t make it easy. But understand what is important to you, such as your self-worth, family, and friends. Life is a continuous process of working on ourselves. Take it one step at a time.