Jealousy has seeped its way into most of our lives. With the ease of access to the latest updates on everyone’s life, we can know who recently got engaged and which colleague received a promotion.
With this Fear-Of-Missing-Out (FOMO) culture, we are quick to find these latest updates but also harbor jealousy as a result. We are rarely left with a good feeling after we find out anything positive about someone else.
1. Identify The Cause
Literature reviews have shown at some time in the evolutionary chain, jealousy had a positive implication. This was when men had to provide for women to receive their favor. However, today, jealousy can give rise to a whole array of negative emotions. Research has also shown that envy can negatively impact your mental health which can affect your drive toward being productive.
This article will explore ways to understand your jealousy and provide suggestions on how to overcome it.
Often we may be feeling a certain negative twinge of jealousy but may not understand the complete reason why.
As soon as you begin to experience a change in emotion to someone else’s success, identify it as jealousy. Note down reasons why this event evoked this emotion in you. Understand the circumstances in your life which precipitated a feeling of jealousy. It could be that you wished to be in a similar position, or have been going through a stroke of bad luck and are unhappy with someone else’s success.
Someone’s success doesn’t always translate as the reason for jealousy. There could be various other reasons in your life that have resulted in those feelings coming along at that moment.
2. Talk About It
When you recognize a negative feeling about someone else’s life event, talking about it is the first step to recognizing the emotion.
Have a quick discussion with yourself and understand that experiencing these feelings is normal. Understand why you might be feeling this way. If you feel someone close to you is the source of your jealousy you can talk to them about it too.
Voicing out your jealousy helps to confirm its presence. Only then can you go ahead with dealing with your emotions.
3. Seek The Whole Story
For this, you also need to consider the discussion in point one about identifying the cause.
Often we only see the accomplishments of someone and assume their whole life is perfect. And on a similar note, we feel we might be not achieving enough. However, we do not know the whole story of one’s success.
There could be other aspects of their life that aren’t as perfect. If these same people probably compared themselves to you, they might feel that they are falling short. This is why it is often crucial to understanding that what we see isn’t always the complete picture of the whole story.
4. Develop Coping Techniques
When you feel the surge of jealousy coming in, find ways to deal with the emotion while you are going through it. Do not dismiss your feelings. Rather talk to yourself and understand why you are feeling that way.
Find a way to channel this into ways in which you can deal with it. Consider taking a walk, meeting up with a friend, a brisk exercise session, or anything which works to channel the emotion more effectively.
Do this as soon as you observe these feelings taking over you. If you let them fester they could cause more harm over time.
5. Start Evaluating Your Priorities
This essentially means evaluating whether you are giving it your all or just feeling sorry for your situation.
Sometimes the events we feel jealous over do not relate to us. Someone else getting a new promotion might be the right career step for them, but are you up for a promotion yourself, or did you miss one?
If you are happy in your job and not seeking a promotion, feeling jealous has no sound basis. Similarly, if you have been seeking a promotion, are you working enough to deserve one at this point in your career?
Sometimes it might take a little introspection to understand where these feelings arise. More often than not it is an indication that we need to work on ourselves more to be able to seek opportunities for success.
6. Foster Healthier Relationships
Frequently the relationships we are in unknowingly create space for jealousy. Some of them can foster or encourage emotions such as envy. This could be among friends or families.
Constant discussions about someone else’s success, or negative talk about your lack of achievements can fuel unhealthy jealousy. This is why it is crucial to evaluate your relationships from time to time.
People who do not have anything positive to say or are not a source of encouragement should not be within your close circle. There is a vast difference between constructive criticism and constantly being put down. Learn the difference to tackle your jealousy.
7. Eliminate Habits That Fuel Jealousy
If you feel scrolling through social media might be a constant source of jealousy, probably limit the time you spend on your phone. Additionally, you can use filters for your content to fine-tune more positive content.
Sometimes routine habits, like grabbing a drink on Fridays, or a friendly dinner at a neighbor’s place could be the source of your jealousy. If you cannot stop these meetings, consider changing the topics of discussion.
Often it is in these routine events our jealousy may find room to grow. Analyzing them, especially when jealousy is affecting your life, is essential.
8. Invest In Your Self-worth
Our feelings of jealousy frequently grow within our self-doubt. Constant comparison with the people around us can cause more harm than good. Someone else’s success often dictates a highlight of their journey, but it might not necessarily fit yours.
We frequently underestimate our progress when we feel our achievements pale in comparison. But in reality, for the journey we are on, we have probably succeeded more than someone else on a similar path.
Recognizing how far you have come, and overcoming your obstacles is crucial to building your self-worth. Being firm in your self-worth doesn’t allow feelings of jealousy to grow.
9. Opt For Professional Help
Feelings of jealousy can overwhelm and lead to periods of obsession. These can disrupt your normal daily functioning. It can also result in more isolation from social interactions based on the perceived notion of low self-worth.
In such instances consulting with a healthcare professional might provide a good outlet for your feelings. Trained therapists and psychologists can guide you through your emotions.
Your therapist will be able to help you identify your jealous thoughts and teach you how to channel them positively. Additionally, you will also be able to identify other signs that spring from your jealousy, such as obsessions, compulsive behavior, or any relationships fostering negativity.
Conclusion
Working through jealousy can have great benefits for your future outlook on your life.
While jealousy is observed as a negative emotion, a lot of positives can come out of it. For one it is possible to understand what is truly important to you. It can help assess whether you value physical things, ambitions, or particular forms of relationships. It can also help you assess your self-worth and how you see yourself.