How to Cope With Sibling Grief

Dear Sister, no matter how many years have passed since you left us. I still grieve in your absence. How can I forget those beautiful moments we spent together. I keep myself busy with the things I do, but I still think of you every time I pause. There are no single days I don’t miss you, my dear sister, Sanu! Everyone misses you here. Now I just have your memories to live and your memories will remain fresh in mind forever. Wherever place you are I am hoping you are happy now.

 Four years ago, today, I was shocked to receive my Nephew’s phone call from Nepal and heard the heartbreaking, sad news about my sister no more with us. Since that time , my heart broke unexpectedly. It was a tough time for the last four years as I usually wake in the night when the world is in a deep sleep—and walked to memories lane with pouring tears. I was in denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, “stages” of grief, maybe responses to my intense emotions. The emotions stayed with me for a long time. I was angry with myself not knowing how much a sad moment my sister went through as I lived overseas for building my career for many years and couldn’t meet her frequently in person. I was also angry with my other family members that they couldn’t understand her struggles.

I realize now that the anger and hatred I felt were a product of my grief. I was in so much emotional pain, and everything reminded me of her I loved my sister.

Now I gained a full new understanding of grief as I lost my dad when I was a teenager and then my sister. Both of these losses were painful but losing my sister at a young age taught me most about the grief. I hope my sharing experience will help deal with someone who loses their sibling. The death of a sibling is a unique loss, and the emotions involved can be complicated. I would like to highlight a few important points to remember. Time doesn’t heal. It’s how we deal with time that matters.

Coping With Grief

Do small things that make you happy. Work in the garden, play games on your phone, and integrate small pleasures back into your life.

Don’t skip over feeling pain. Allow yourself the time to hurt so you can move through that.

Focus on spirituality and creativity. It’s essential to shift your energy toward doing the things that bring you joy. This is the perfect opportunity for you to tap into your creativity. You could write poetry, paint, blog or even write your loved one a letter. My blog journey for Caring Worldwide began after I went through this difficuly time.

Accept some loneliness. Loneliness is completely normal, but it is important not to get too isolated. Reach out to people and support groups who are comfortable with grief — who can let you move through teh process at your own pace.

Choose good company. Look for friends, old and new, who know how grief feels and who can let you be “alone but not alone” when you just need company and who won’t place any further burdens or expectations on you.

Be gentle with yourself. Try not to judge yourself for not “doing better” or “keeping it together.” It will get easier over time to feel like you’re a normal self.

Get extra rest. Physical and emotional exhaustion is common. You will need more rest than usual.

Embrace all emotions. Realize that feelings come whether we like it or not. All we can do is let them move through, like waves in the ocean or clouds in the sky. It is neither weak nor abnormal to feel these waves. there are many approaches under the category of “mindfulness” that can help with emotional self-regulation. It’s also important to no when to seek professional halp.

Set a regular sleep schedule. Make it a goal to go to bed and awaken at the same time each day. Give yourself a good amount of time to rest, but be on guard for sleeping too much as a way to avoid the hard work of grieving.

Move your body. Get up and walk or move around, preferably outside, at least a little each day.

Talk to your doctor. Tell your primary care doctor you are bereaved so he or she ca halp you keep an on eye on healthy habits.

Keep structure in your day. This means groom and dress, even if you are not leaving the house. Also, eat small, regular meals, even if you are not hungry.

Set goals. Set small, reachable, short-term goals so that you don’t get overwhelmed.

Make a list of daily activities. this can help while you are grieving coz forgetfulness is common.

Be cautious. Do not make any major decisions or changes in-home or work right after you are bereaved.

Take care of your inner needs. Find time, whether through spiritual practice or a creative outlet, to connect to things that give you inspiration and help you maintain you’re sense of meaning and purpose. You could keep a journal, write a song, poem, or letter to you’re loved one.